The Writers’ Cafe

Spirituality…

Spirituality… Religion’s Final Frontier.

I wonder if Spirituality may indeed be the new buzz word, for the latest value that we could strive to instill in our children. We all know that it is important to teach our children to share, be kind, courteous respectful of their elders, relatives and teachers. We also try to teach them the importance of playing fairly, being nice and all those other important things which we already know we should try to teach to our children.

Although I recently attended a a lecture entitled; “Instilling Spirituality in Our Children and in Ourselves in a Rapidly Changing World”, I am not certain if there is indeed any particular methodology one could utilize to instill spirituality in one’s own child. Normally I would try to summarize the contents of such a lecture, however possibly because of the title of the lecture, I felt as if there would be no specific concrete information being given, so I therefore did not bring along my usual notebook and pen, and simply opted out, of any note taking.

Being a relative newcomer two the world of orthodoxy, or being frum, I would often be asked what made me chose this way of life. While I always felt it was a fairly complex question, it was never too difficult for me to provide a simple answer, which did not take me very long to explain. One of the main reasons, I would explain, was that I thought it (orthodox Judaism) would provide a very solid foundation for raising my daughter. It may be interesting to note that non-Jews somehow found this answer lacking. I never truly understood why these individuals did not accept this answer, or why they may have felt this answer was incomplete. However, just today I learned something which now provides me with a clue, to why they felt my answer was not complete.

Before I get to that however, I would like to share some other reactions, I would typically get both from non-frum Jews as well as non-Jews:

“Oh, your mom must be really happy and must be very proud of you.”

Um, no. It seems like she was really not too happy about the whole thing. After all, every Jewish mother longs and lives to cook food for their children. Now, with all the kosher issues, well things just would have to be done much differently. While I can not explain it myself personally there seems to be some sort of intimate bond between a Jewish mother and her pots and pans.

…”Listen” I would explain, “new ones could be purchased, and taken to the mikvah, and”…

All the while my mother would be shaking her head “they wont be any good”…”I have these pots fo a long time, they’re good.”

Then of course there was my brother. One day during a conversation, he stated evenly:

“I don’t believe in organized religion”

“Then, what kind of religion do you believe in?” I countered.

“Personal religion.” my brother Jeff, quickly countered back.

Then I asked, “How does that work?”

When my brother Jeff, did not quickly provide an answer, I answered the question myself for him:

I opened my hands up towards the sky, while slightly closing my eyes, and nodding my head slightly up and down chanted: “Jeff, should be happy, Jeff should happy, Jeff should be…”

I’m pretty sure he laughed as did I. He may have had some kind of answer or response to this, but I don’t remember what it was.

Someone in the chevrah (friends) asked our Rabbi what does it mean to be frum? We quickly got off that and then got on to what does it mean to be religious. There is no such Hebrew word, R. Singer shlita was telling us,  Rabbi Singer went on to tell us all about a minister in a hospice who saw the frum sons of a  deceased father dealing with their loss, and the Priest said “This is a test of Faith and Belief” apparently he was taken aback when the mourners responded, “No, its not, it is about happiness in accepting G-d’s will. Rabbi Singer went on to tell how the priest was so taken aback by the response, he was impressed and apparently speechless.

The main thing I realized was that other religions are expecting to hear a great deal about faith and belief. If one examines the scriptural basis for any of the other religions, it really is no small wonder. The religions of the other nations, have mainly one (in some cases dozens) person (or divine being/s)  who communes with G-d, then he/they share/s his/their wisdom with the masses. No wonder one needs so much faith and belief. There simply is no hands on experiential thing a non-Jew does, that solidly connects him with his religion.

On the other hand, it is at least theoretically possible one could get so caught up in completing the various requirements of a particular type of prayer, say morning shacharis, complete with Tallis, Tefilin, and taking out the Torah scroll, that they may forget to make the personal or spiritual connection with G-d, it does however seem fairly unlikely that this could actually happen. Then even in the unlikely event that the connection would be missed, I believe current theory on how our action affect our thoughts, would help explain that even if one simply did the actions devoid of intent, with enough repetition that eventually, something within the mind would awaken and begin making the essential connection.

I do not know if Confucious had any Jewish ancestors, however I feel he sums up the above idea well:

“I hear and I forget, I see and I remember, I do and I understand”  Confucious

The other answer I give, when asked how, or at what time period I became orthodox goes like this:

My daughter was spending her vacation from school with my mom in Del Rey Beach Florida. Passover was coming up, and I was in Montvale NJ. The other person who could be counted on to host a Passover Seder in the family was my aunt Celina, who was in California at the time. So I reached out to the two orthodox people that I knew, about where to find a Seder. One of them was quick to tell me that while he himself could not host me, he would make some calls. It was that person, by reaching out to other members of the frum community, who started the reaction within me, by which my daughter and I became Torah observant Jews.

The Passover Seder, is the closest thing to a multi-media interactive presentation (in 3d) with taste touch, smell and sound, that even non frum Jews all over the world experience at least once a year to re-establish their connection with their humble origins, in the process by which we, a nation of slaves, became the Jewish Nation chosen by G-d, to receive the Torah.

So now what can be said of spirituality.

Lets try this:

Spirituality,

Like the wind, which can not be seen,

Rips through the Trees, and scatters its seed,

So does the spirit, which sleeps within its host,

Moves not a thing, until it, itself is moved,

Then once moved, by a thought, a vision. a dream,

Then it, the spirit lets out, its silent scream,

Then, and only then. would its actual existence be proved,

For we know that branches of Trees,

In the air, do not simply wave their arms-meaninglessly

We know indeed that they are inspired,

Although inspiration’s source unseen,

We only find the answer- buried in the ground,

When the first new green hand, pushes skyward- till it’s cause, is then again found,

Spirituality.

Aharon Moshe (Stephen C.) Sanders

Yud Gimmel Teves, 5770/ December 30, 2009

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